


From Houston to Maple Valley

by hispanicking



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Kissing, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bisexual Dave Strider, Bisexual John Egbert, Brotherly Angst, Closeted John, Crush at First Sight, Eventual Happy Ending, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest, Internalized Homophobia, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Marijuana, Multi, Not for long tho, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating will change, Road Trips, Sibling Bonding, Slow Burn, Trans Dave Strider, Trans Dirk Strider, Trans John Egbert, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, unsafe binding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-09 22:05:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14724428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hispanicking/pseuds/hispanicking
Summary: John wanted to go on a road trip to Washington with Dave for a week-long stay at Jane's house before going to college. What he wasn't ready for was bringing Dave's brother, Dirk, along.





	1. I've Got Big Plans

Ok, John knows that not every parent or guardian is like his dad. He knows that some of his friends have had the worst kind of parents ever. I.e. Rose’s mom is an alcoholic who doesn’t know how to pick her own battles. But honestly this went way past the line of cruel.

Right now, he was completely taken in for a loop when his best friend, his platonic soulmate, his homie, his brother from another mother, Dave Strider, said that his older brother wouldn’t let him go on a summer getaway with him.

Their last year together before they went to college, and Dave's Bro wouldn't let Dave come?

It was outrageous, and John couldn’t believe his ears after Dave repeated it for the umpteenth time.

 

“Dude, it’s not a big deal. I--”

“Dave! Yes! It is a big deal! I thought your brother loved me! How could he do this to you?!”

 

John wailed dramatically, interrupting whatever Dave was about to say. Dave mumbled something about John not believing what else Bro would do to him. But he waved it off, before John could ask, like usual.

“Mr. Egbert, is there a problem?”

The impatient tone of the chemistry teacher stopped John from whining any more.

His head whipped her way. He swallowed hard. Better not get detention right before summer. “N-No Ma’am.” John lied and faced downwards at his desk. She eyed them both before stuffing her nose into a stack of papers. John assumed those were the finals they’d taken the day before.

 John shook his head for a second to get his thoughts in order. “But it’s not fair! Like, ok, I get that he’s strict. I understand that. But the fact that he won’t let you come, with me, on a dumb road trip! I-It just… I’m… It’s not!” He was rambling, he knew that, but it was just way too much for him.

 

Ever since he’d met Dave’s oldest brother he just assumed he liked him. I mean, if Dave wanted to go to a party John had to be there too. Like, John was sure that Dave's Bro trusted him. But apparently that assumption just went out the window.

 

“John, listen. Bro said I couldn’t go—” John slumped on top of the desk and let out another loud whine, which was met with an impatient sigh from his blonde friend. “—unless Dirk comes with me.” He finally finished and went back to that grey chunk. He should really wear some gloves while handling that.

John sigh— wait hold on. John’s eyes darted to his friend as he sat upright. His previous pout morphing into the widest smile Dave’s ever seen. “DAVE, OH MY GOD, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT?! JESUS CHRIST, SO YOU CAN—,” John snapped out of his pre-mature celebration and furrowed his brows. A few students shushed him harshly for the outburst, but he ignored them.

“Wait. Dirk? Like, as in, your weird other brother Dirk? The one with the pony thing?”

Dave chuckled dryly. “I mean, I don’t got any other brothers that’re also named Dirk, so…” Dave’s soothing country twang audible through each syllable. “Yeah, _that Dirk.”_ John didn’t even bother to hide a cringe. He knew Dave wouldn’t mind.

 

It’s just, he’s heard about Dirk Strider before. Especially from Caliborn, who loved telling stories about Dirk and his robot-making shenanigans. Some teachers would say how much Dirk would interrupt classes to correct teachers or whatever. Dave would just tell him about the usual anime shit he draws or how his long ass showers would make the water bill go through the roof. John’s not the type of person to make assumptions about what other people say, but either way he does take it into consideration.

 

He was so wrapped up in his head that he didn’t even hear the final bell ringing. John made an attempt at cleaning up the desk, emphasis on attempt, and scooped his obnoxious Ghost Busters backpack off the floor. Dave slid off his goggles from his forehead and crammed them into his backpack. “I’ll tell Bro that you’re cool with Dirk comin’ too.” He bit his pierced lip, then looked at John for a moment.

Even with the dumb aviator shades, John could pick up a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. “Uh, is your old man aight with it? Cuz I don’t wanna get you in trouble.” He added quickly. John smiled and shook his head. “Nah, dad won’t mind! Hey, I’ll be at the front of your apartment at, like, eleven. You better be down there or I’m leaving you!” He joked. Dave looked oddly distraught but forced out a chuckle.

“Look at that, the Dynamic duo is at it again. You two better not get into trouble.” A calm voice chimed from behind them as they left.

John looked over his shoulder to find Rose looking smug, like usual. He held the door from the outside for her. “I’m not bailing you out like last time.” She added as she walked with them to their lockers.

Dave rose a brow at her. “What’s that’s supposed to mean?” Rose shot a look at him, a smirk on her dark lips. “I mean, that I have plans of my own. So, don’t come asking for a ride home if you guys are drunk or anything.” She unlocked her locker in a flash and checked her hair with the mirror inside it.

John scoffed. “Hey! It was once! And admit it, you liked our drunk singing.” He swelled with pride. Rose snorted and put a very lady-like hand to her equally lady-like mouth.

 

Rose could deny all she wants but John was 100% sure that she’d heard her sing along to the trashy rap songs that Dave insisted on putting on the drive back to John’s house. There was photographic evidence of the moment _and_ witnesses! Ask Karkat and Jade, they were there.

 

John closed his locker and looked over at Dave, who was putting on his left earbud. “What plans do you got, Rose? Read at home or somethin’? Stay inside packing for, where's it that you're goin', Harvard?” He teased. Rose scoffed and rolled her eyes, shutting her locker.

“Ha ha. No way to talk to your family, Davey.” Dave rolled his eyes from under his sunglasses.He stuck out a pierced tongue at her, too. “Anyways, I do partake in other things other than reading. For example, Kanaya and I are—”

“ _Kanaya?!_ As in, Kanaya Maryam?!” John’s outburst earned him weird looks from passerby students. Even Rose cringed at his loudness. Dave was unaffected, as usual.

“John don’t yell. And yes, she and I enjoy each other’s company. We’re going to California to her aunt’s house for a few days.” She explained calmly.

John was dumbfounded. His mouth kept opening and closing like some kind of broken puppet. Dave chuckled at the sight. “Yeah, y’all enjoy each other’s company _very much_. Isn’t that right Rosie, dearest?” He shot her a knowing look, which made her blush furiously. John rose a brow at Dave, then looked at Rose.  He was about to ask until she cut him off. _Mental note: ask Dave about Rose and Kan._ “Do _not._ ” She locked the padlock on her locker angrily. Her glare was full of poison. Dave looked pretty unaffected, but John saw his fingers shaking.

Rose heaved a heavy sigh. “You two enjoy yourselves. Say hi to Dirk for me, Dave.” She walked off, but before reaching the corner of the lockers, she stopped and looked over her shoulder. “And please stop yourself from saying things like that!” She ran off before saying anything else. John looked at Dave, who shrugged nonchalantly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok heres some head canons id like to mention:  
> -John went to school in Washington up until 7th grade, when he found out he was trans  
> -his father was very supportive and did everything needed for his transition, excluding top surgery  
> -they moved to Texas in the middle of 9th grade  
> -John already knew Dave (they met when they were in 6th thru internet) at the time and were internet friends before he moved  
> -John had top surgery when he was in 10th, then got bottom surgery at the beginning of senior year
> 
> -Dave and Dirk are both trans  
> -Dirk is intersex, but when he was 14 came out as a transman  
> -his parents changed his gender officially when he was 15 and managed to pay for his top surgery the same year  
> -Dave, Dirk and Bro's parents died in the midst of Dirk's top surgery  
> -Dave came out before Dirk's top surgery but his parents got as far as changing his name before they died  
> -Bro abused both as he didn't accept them
> 
> John is 19, Dave is 18 and Dirk is 20
> 
> lastly im very sorry if how i write trans characters is uncomfortable, me being a transman, im writing from my own experience but please tell me if it gets too much!


	2. Cue the Music

 “YO! FREE UBER!” John cackled from the drivers’ seat. He honked the horn a few times like some sort of hooligan.

Yesterday, after the whole thing with Rose, John went home and spoke to his dad, who was more than happy to let Dirk tag along. But John still didn’t know what to expect. Other than the puppet thing and being Dave’s second older brother, John didn’t know much about the mystery Strider. 

It’s not like he’s ever been into Dave’s house or anything. Dave’s oldest brother might like him, but not  _that_ much.

Something was for sure, Dirk must wear dumb shades like the other two Striders. John snorted and started cackling about the thought of Dirk being some weird neckbeard with some kind of novelty sunglasses. I mean, My Little Pony obsession? Of course, he was a freakin’ neckbeard! He also had to be lanky and have awkwardly long arms like Dave. Maybe a sprinkle of acne, horrible B.O. and a nasty ponytail. 

As for personality, according to Dave, he was too much of a showoff. Caliborn thought he was attractive, which, if he was right with the looks aspect of him, would mean that Caliborn’s standards were dangerously low. His cousin Jane liked his company, so maybe he wasn’t all too bad. Jade said that he used to date one of her family members.

He was then snapped back into reality. If his assumptions were right, then he was going on a 4-day-long road trip with this guy. Maybe it wasn’t all too bad… I mean he  _did_ take long showers, so that B.O. thing might not be true. But still. At least Dave would make things un-awkward. Hopefully.

 

Speaking of Dave, John heard a loud bang from the lobby door of the apartment. He sat upright and looked sideways towards them.

 

Dave’s presence was the closest thing to meeting a used-to-be-famous-during-the-late-90s rapper for John.

Hell, the boy even dressed like one.

 

Dave wore an all-too-big red sweatshirt with “I Don’t Skate” emblazed in front in the Thrasher font, with “faker” written in cursive underneath. He also wore those stupid sweatpants that John thought looked way too old-school for him. They were so fucking old, they even had stains from pre-binder Dave. On his shoulders was a black gym bag, which was probably full of clothes and essentials. And, of course, what’s his best bro without his light up red and blue sketchers? John had his own pair on as well. It was essential that they wore them.

 

No, they’re not stupid, they’re a sign of their amazing bromance.

 

Dave tapped on the glass for John to slide it down. He put his arms on top of where the glass was previously and smiled keenly at his best bro. John returned it eagerly.  

“So what’s the plan, Egbert?” Dave rose a brow.

John rolled his eyes as a huge grin overtook his face. “We go to McDonalds, cause I’m  _starving_. Did you have breakfast?” He asked. Dave stayed quiet and tapped his fingers on the top of the window. John shot him a look, much like a disappointed parent would. “Dave, you need to eat. You’re already skinny as hell. You’re fine.” He smiled reassuringly.

Dave never ate, he skipped lunch as long as John can remember. He didn’t know what it was. He just assumed it was something with his body, which, if he didn’t eat soon, was gonna look like a withered skeleton. Honestly, Dave was, no homo, very attractive and even if he  _did_ gain a few pounds he was still hot as hell (in a heterosexual way, duh).

 

Dave half-shrugged and went around the car, thumping the hood rhythmically as he went towards the passenger seat. Then he stopped, turning towards the lobby doors of his apartment. He tapped the glass from the passenger seat. John rolled it down for him.

“What’s up?” He asked. Dave flung his bag inside, which very narrowly missed the emergency brake. “Honk the horn for, like, three seconds, Dirk’ll be out faster than a motherfucker.”

 

Right. Dirk. John had almost forgot about him.

He did as Dave said, a huge smirk on his lips, then what came next was something straight out of a cheesy teenage romcom. Cue Etta James’ “At Last”.

 

Dirk was like, physically, the complete opposite of what John had imagined. And it didn’t help that he was putting a shirt on while he was coming out of the lobby. His face looked like someone sculpted it from marble. Strong jawline, perfect nose,  _great_ brows, hooded eyes... what a stud. 

Just like Dave, Dirk wore sunglasses, but his were pointy and looked like they could cut you if he threw them at you. They were resting on his forehead, which revealed his orange eyes. Looks like weird eye colors run in the family, just like the Lalondes. He had freckles that spread to his left cheek, temple and forehead. Dirk also sported three piercings on his right eyebrow, two under his lip, and two — John recounted them —  _three_ on both of his ears.

His body looked like an actual copy of Jason Momoa, but with freckles around his navel and a few stretch marks here and there. His hips were banging, John had to admit it sooner or later. His hair was blonde mop of lovely curls that had been, hastily as John assumed, gelled to stick out into spikes. He must’ve woken up a few minutes ago, since it was slightly messy. But that didn’t mean it didn’t make him look even hotter. John just wanted to tug on that hair, or brush it, or at least  _something_. It was driving him absolutely insane.

 

 _Shit, John, that’s really gay._ His conscious whispered in the back of his mind. But John didn’t really listen.

 

It wasn’t only the hair on his head though, his happy trail looked like a damn invitation. ( _Behave John!_ His conscious scolded.) The man had the most defined navel John’s ever seen! Even with a slight amount of belly fat.

If John didn’t have a kink for huge ass biceps with freckles on them, he did now. Dirk was wearing a black tank top that stuck onto his skin, just right. He also had a bag just like Dave’s, except it looked like it was about to explode because of how full it was.

“Yeah, hold on. ‘m comin’!”

Holy shit, of course he had that pillow talk voice. And the southern accent didn’t make it any better. Dirk Strider had to be arrested. He’s too hot and John’s going to die. 

John was so entranced that he didn’t notice how creepy it was to be staring at Dirk for that much amount of time. Shoutout to Dave for pulling on the door’s handle and unsticking John’s eyes from Dirk’s body with the racket he had going on.

As John unlocked the passenger seat, his now tomato-red face whipped towards Dave.

“Th-That… Tha… That’s Dirk?” His voice was breathless and even with two words it went up an octave.

Dave rose a brow, but John saw through him and he knew that Dave was holding in the loudest, most smug laugh in the world. Still, being a true homie, Dave held back from it and mustered the straightest face he could. 

“Yep.” 

John nodded and cranked up the air as far as it could go. He needed that red to leave his face  _right the fuck now_. Dave seemed to understand what he was trying to do and started fanning John’s face as discretely as possible.

Needless to say, John’s happy to have invited Dirk along.

 

* * *

  

“So, uh, are we gonna skip introductions or what?”

 

Dirk was nestled on the backseat of John’s blue Toyota Corolla. His head was resting on his black gym bag and his legs were sprawled against the door.

Dave had called shotgun. His feet were resting on the dashboard as he slid his sunglasses to his forehead. “Well, I mean, I thought you already knew John.” Dave replied, staring at his brother through the rearview mirror.

Dirk scoffed and lowered his sunglasses to the tip of his nose. He gave John a once-over, which gave him goosebumps for a second or two.

It’s completely normal, right? I mean, if it was Brad Pitt checking John out he’d probably get excited too, so it’s fine. Totally not weird.

John was yanked away from his thoughts as Dave’s hand flew in front of his face, shaking, which nearly caused him to swerve off the road. “Dave, d-don’t do that!” He exclaimed, shaken from the sudden appendage appearing.

The blonde’s brows raised with surprise. He mumbled a “sorry” and slumped back into his seat, quietly. John sighed and gave him a sympathetic buck-toothed grin.

Dirk snorted from the backseat. "Nice beaver teeth." He jeered, a side-smirk on his lips.

John flushed and turned his head quickly, somehow managing a half-hearted glare.

“H-Hey! I didn’t call you weeb when you came i-in with those shades.” He smirked, sticking out his tongue in hopes of Dirk getting the joke.

Dirk seemed to understand that there wasn’t any ill-meaning to it, seeing as he barked out a laugh. Dave letting a loud “OH!” from the front seat. John turned his head back to the road before any accidents happened.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You mind passin’ the aux cord?” Dave piped up after about 15 minutes and 3 stoplights of complete silence.

 

John shot him a look but gestured to the glove department with his head. Music would be calming; since this sudden traffic jam was driving him up the wall. Dave opened it and found a folded bedsheet, an old glasses case and a blue aux cord.

“Aw yeah.” He hooked it up to his phone and connected it to the car’s sound system.

“Don’t play any trash.” Dirk mumbled, checking something on his phone.

The first song was a classic. Something familiar to almost anyone. “Magic” by Pilot is a song that takes John back to his childhood. His dad used to play it whenever he baked, at family barbecues with Jane and his grandma and sometimes when Rose would come along to study he’d blare it (to John’s embarrassment as a way to ‘set the mood’). Either way it was a banger song to start off with.

 

 

After a few obscure rap songs and trashy pop, the ride became tense. John was itching to get out already, 15 minutes turned into 20, then half an hour. Still nowhere near the hotel John booked. It didn't help that both of the Striders were growing impatient as well. Especially since Dave was being obnoxious and leaning back the passenger seat.

 

“Dave, move your seat up.” Dirk whined from the back, mid-way through Rascal Flatt’s “Life is a Highway” that Dave put in, just to remind John of that awful Cars movie.

“No.” Dave stopped his awful singing, letting John breathe again.

“C’mon. My feet’re hurtin’.” Dirk softly punched the back of the seat.

John had no idea why, but the way Dirk said that was endearing, and kind of cute. But in a straight way. 

“Fold your legs then.” Dave deadpanned, putting his legs on the dashboard and pushing himself to move the seat further back. Dirk noticed this and groaned, much like a child who’s been denied an ice cream.

“Come  _on_. Don’t be such a dick.” He pushed the seat with his legs, slightly shifting it forward.

John sighed impatiently. “Cut it out guys, you’re gonna break it.” He said, haphazardly taking a turn towards an isolated road. Many trees were around, which gave John a sense of calm.

  

It was short lived. Dirk kicked Dave’s seat and nearly sent him flying towards the glass. 

“Dirk what the fuck?! Calm down!” Dave sat back down, reaching for his aviators that were now on the floor. Dirk grabbed them and lowered the glass.

John sighed, breaking his contact from the road for a second. “Dave—"

“Move your seat up, then.” The older Strider said tentatively, dangling them out the window.

Dave lunged himself backwards, narrowly missing the emergency break once more. He made a grab at Dirk’s arm. Both Striders wrestling for the sunglasses. Clawing, pushing and pulling at each other. It was like two cats in a fight, but less graceful and  _definitely_  louder. Dave let out a colorful string of curses when dirk pinched his side, Dirk was trying to get back his own shades after Dave took them off his face. John turned off the radio and stopped the car immediately. Both Dave and Dirk hit themselves with the roof and, if it weren’t for Dave’s reflexes, his aviators would’ve been dropped on the concrete.

John turned around, narrowing his blue eyes. How the hell are these two iving with each other?! Not even half an hour and they’ve already begun to fight. No wonder Bro wanted Dirk to come along, he must’ve wanted a few days of peace and quiet.

“Oh my  _god_! If both you don’t sit back down and stop fighting, I’ll turn this car back and leave you at home for the entire summer!” John doesn’t like yelling, but sometimes it’s the only way to make your bro cut the bullshit out. But, something about Dave’s face going soft like a little kid’s and how Dirk’s lip quivered just slightly, made John stop yelling.

He organized his thoughts, took a deep breath. They looked as if he was about to hit them, and it  _hurt_ John seeing them with that look on their faces.

“I’m notgonna be… be babysitting you i-if you… just… acting like,” His tone softened. He sighed and pushed back his hair, thinking of what to say next. Dave put on his shades again and sat next to Dirk, head down.

 

_Choose the next thing you’re gonna say carefully._

 

“Just don’t fight… I-I wanna spend the summer chilling with… you guys.” He was rambling, trying to calm the brothers down. “I’ve never seen you outside your house… and… I’m sorry. Just don’t fight, at least not here.” He mumbled lamely, but then tried (keyword:  _tried_ ) to give them a compassionate smile. 

Half of it was true, though, John’s never seen Dave out of his house. Just for parties and 2-day sleepovers at his house. One of the reasons he wanted to take him out for the summer on a week-long road trip was to help him get used to the outside. Take care of himself. John knew that Dave couldn’t live with his brothers forever. And something about Dave said that he didn't want to live with them any longer either. Not since their parents died. Plus, some of the things Dave said about Bro worried John. He didn't dare ask, but it worried him.

 

“Sorry.” Dirk mumbled, head hanging low. Dave stayed on the backseat and put on his seatbelt. He gave Dirk back his sunglasses, stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked at John, then returned the smile. Albeit, awkwardly, but at least it was something.

He didn't ever want to yell at them, not for the rest of the trip, or the rest of his life. It was too much. Seeing their faces like that gave him chills, and it  _stung_. 

“So… um… breakfast?”

The Striders gave a noncommittal noise. Dave shrugged as he did so, staring out the window apathetically. John took a deep breath and drove back onto the road, eyes out for any sign of a fast-food place or the hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for the recent kudos! it means a lot to me that you all enjoy my writing :] 
> 
> something I wanna clear up, John feels uncomfortable crushing on men since he still has a twee bit of internalized homophobia and a mix of fear too since he heard Dave's story of how he came out and how ppl in the school bullied him
> 
> drop a visit to my Tumblr if you'd like! apollostwink.tumblr.com


	3. Hope that You Can Keep it

Pulling up at San Antonio, after almost two and a half hours of complete silence, was a blessing. Especially since the Striders had recovered from John yelling.

It’s a lovely city, really. Big buildings, clean roads, people going up and down the street.

“Whoa,” Dave dragged out the word, his stare transfixed on the many buildings. Dirk wasn’t as impressed. John kept his eyes peeled for any kind of fast-food place. He wasn’t going to go all out for breakfast, John’s not a ‘boujee’ type of person, like Dave likes to say.

“You’re too easily impressed, Dave.” Dirk jeered, not looking up from his phone. John chuckled to himself at that. Dave nudged him on the ribs as a response.

 

It was a while until John pinpointed a McDonald’s. He took a sharp turn, almost hitting a few poles in the process. Dave made a ‘skrrrt’ noise as he took each turn. John giggled.

 It was quiet again, but it wasn’t uncomfortable tension or anything.

That is until John heard a lot of giggling and shifting in the backseat.

“John… please look back.” Dave pleaded. John rolled his eyes and tried fighting the grin growing on his lips. “I-I can’t I’m driving.” He replied, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. “Please John, I’m—pfft—I’m beggin’ you.” Dave laughed way too much for John to trust him. “Dave—” “John please, Dave’s gonna piss his pants if he keeps laughin’.” Dirk’s smooth voice put John on edge. And the fact that he was also giggling made it worse.

John turned around quickly, trying to avoid a car crash. Both Strider’s looked the same, nothing was different. At least John thought so. “What am I looking at?” He asked, now staring at Dave.

 

_Wait._

 

Dave was wearing Dirk’s obnoxious pointy glasses on his small face. He looked like he was going to fall over because of them at any given moment. John didn’t even need to see Dirk, now that he knew what Dave found so funny, but he didn’t mind looking at him, too. Just to make sure, duh.

Dave’s aviators looked like they were about to break. Dirk’s face was wider than Dave’s, only by a little though, but he made it work. Somehow.

John sighed deeply and turned around, a grin tugging at his lips. “You switch—” “We switched our sunglasses.” Dave’s cackles were loud enough that, John was sure, they could be heard outside the car. John snorted and gave in, though. Dave had a weird sense of humor, but his laughter was contagious. “That fucking sucked.” He said between gasps of laughter. But Dave knew it didn't have any ill-meaning to it. Even Dirk couldn't hold back the chuckles that erupted from him.

 

Dave later sauntered onto the passenger seat after asking if John was ok with it. John was, obviously.

“Yeah, I kinda missed your music. It was awkward with all the silence.” John mumbled, waiting for the small traffic jam to subdue so he could finally park the car and have breakfast. Dave hooked up his phone to the aux cord. Good old pop, and John recognized the artist for once! Dave tapped his fingers on the window, mumbling some of the lyrics.

Then John realized where he’s heard this song, and his face went slightly red. “Dave isn’t this—”

_In my city I'm a young god  
That pussy kill be so vicious._

Dave scrambled to switch the song. Dirk laughed from the back seat as Dave unplugged his phone to look for the right playlist. “Wanna maybe, I dunno, give some context or somthin’?” Dirk piped up.

John didn’t even need to look at him to know that he had the widest smirk on his face right now. Dave just coughed into his fist and plugged his phone again afterwards. “I think ‘s best to keep it off.” Dave said quickly, letting his phone rest in one of the cupholders. John nodded, chuckling quietly. “Yeah, good idea.” He replied.

 

* * *

 

“Jesus, finally.” John said with relief as he parked his car. He could see a short line of about five people behind the counter. “Ok, what do you guys wanna eat?” He asked, turning sideways to look at both boys. Dirk stretched from the backseat, letting out a breathy sigh that shouldn’t have gotten John to blush. Dave just shrugged. “I’m fine.” He said, grabbing his phone to check if he’s gotten any messages.

John frowned. “Come on Dave, you need to have breakfast at least.” He crossed his arms over his chest. Dave shook his head. “Nah man, I don’t need food. I’m like a plant, you know? Jus’ let me rest outside for a couple of hours and I’ll do some photosynthesis shit. Like hell yeah, gimme that sweet, sweet UV light an—” “I’ll get you apple juice with hashbrowns.” John interrupted before Dave went on yet another ramble. Dave fell silent. “Fine.” He mumbled. John laughed and nudged him in the ribs softly, making Dave snort.

“What do you want, Dirk?” He asked, trying to keep his voice leveled.

The older Strider stayed quiet for a moment. He stared at John’s general direction, but John wanted to believe that he was staring at him. He thought for a while until finally answering. “Oatmeal.” He said bluntly. John nodded.

“What are you gettin’?” Dave asked, not looking at him. “Uh, scrambled eggs I guess” John shrugged. Dave’s head snapped up at him.

“Whoa, John. Cannibalism?” He asked.

John saw his eyes go wide behind his sunglasses. “Huh? What do you mean?” He asked.

“Scrambled _eggs_. _Eg_ bert. Dude, I didn’t know you were into vore.” Dave replied.

John turned red as he laughed. Dirk snorted. “Jesus fucking Christ, Dave.” John said, trying to recover from his fit of giggles. Dave looked satisfied with what he’d done.

“Hold on.” Dirk’s now steady voice held John back from leaving. “What’s up?” John asked.

 

Dirk pulled out a duct tape wallet from his sweatpants. It had tons of doodles scrawled on it. A star and a cat on the edge in hot pink marker, a cherry on the middle of it in cyan blue, a winky face with guns in dark green ink (though it looked like it had been wiped off) and some kind of disfigured men that John recognized as Dave’s characters in red pen ink. In the middle was a crude drawing of an orange puppet. John guessed it was one of the ‘smuppets’ Dave told him about. He chuckled to himself about it.

Seems like Dirk wasn’t as perfect as he thought. But he could manage with a few puppets.

 _John what the fuck._ His consciousness screamed at him. He turned red and shook the thought out of his brain.

Speaking of which, Dirk was staring towards seemingly nothing in complete silence. John didn’t ask about it, but it was making him a little bit worried. By a little bit he means very. Dirk didn’t look up at him or anything, he just kept staring at the dirty carpet. “That’s seven dollars, with tax…” Dirk mumbled under his breath and opened his wallet. John caught a glimpse of his driver’s license and about, roughly, 15 dollars inside.

Dirk looked at John and pulled out the ten-dollar bill from his wallet. “Here.” John blinked with confusion, then understood. Dirk wanted to pay for everyone’s meal.

 

And if that didn’t make John weak in the knees, he’d be lying.

 

“O-Oh, Dirk don’t worry. You don’t need to pay.” He said, his voice cracking with nervousness. Dirk’s brows raised in surprise. Even Dave raised his head from his phone to look at John. “You sure?” Dirk asked, jaw slack with surprise. John nodded. “Yeah, I mean, you two are guests. Plus, I have enough for the whole trip. Thank you, but it’s fine.” He smiled reassuringly, which prompted Dirk to put his money back in his wallet.

“Aight. But let me look for the food then. ‘s the least I can do.” He offered. John nodded and dug inside his pants to look for his own wallet. It was a Velcro one with blue and white stripes. He opened it and grabbed a ten-dollar bill, plus a few quarters, just in case. Dirk hesitated to take the money, but with a small nod from John, he took it. Dirk’s fingers brushed against John’s as he did so, sending tiny sparks up his spine. “Thanks.” He opened the door and walked out. Dave shot John a look, which he ignored.

Before he could close the door, John turned towards his window and lowered it. “Wait, Dirk!” The blonde turned around with his hands in his pockets. “Your wallet.” John smiled smugly, holding out his hand. Dirk chuckled and shook his head, dropping it in his hand. With that, John smiled and waved as Dirk went inside.

 

It was going to take him few moments to get over that interaction. But Dave didn't seem to get the memo.

 

“So,” Dave dragged on the ‘o’ obnoxiously, making John roll his eyes. “You and Dirk.” He said, as if it was news to John.

 

 _Hell_ no. _Hell fucking no_. John wasn’t about to go on spilling his crushes like some kind of schoolgirl. Plus, it wasn’t even a crush! So, ha! Joke’s on Dave.

 

“No, actually, shut up, I’ve got a better idea.” He tried switching the subject.

Dave just rose a brow. A smug smirk on his lips. He could see through John as if he had x-ray vision.

 

What else was new? Nothing interesting had happened during the last weeks of school. Just a lot of studying, a lot of all-nighters and Jade popping up to visit him with coffee at 3am. There wasn’t anything worth talking ab—

Then John remembered Friday. Rose and Kanaya!

 

“What was up with Rose the other day?” He asked, now turning right to face Dave completely.

The look on Dave’s face could only be described as wicked. He looked like the cat from Alice in Wonderland with his grin stretching from ear-to-ear.

“Alright. Hang on tight, Egbert. This is going to be a bumpy as _fuck_ ride. It’s gonna be like Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster but this time it ain’t gonna be Aerosmith it’s gonna be some weirdo on crack playin’ the guitar. And you’re all like ‘where the fuck did this guy come from? This isn’t who I hired.’ But the dude plays like there’s no tomorrow, so you just sit still. You’re not only gonna throw up at the end of the ride, your soul’d gonna leave your body ‘n everythin’ a—” “Jesus Christ, Dave just spill it!” John exclaimed, at the edge of the driver’s seat.

Dave chuckled and pushed up his glasses. “So, I’m leaving the bathroom after takin’ a leak, right?” John already started his eyeroll count, one down about twenty million more to go. “Yeah?” John replied, coaxing more out of Dave. “Then I hear some giggling from the hallway. I’m thinkin’ ‘no way someone snuck in alcohol’ cuz it was one of those drunk-soundin’ laughs. You know what I mean?” John nodded. Dave swallowed and pushed back his hair. “So I just brush it off, wash my hands and shit, then make my way out so I can finish my pre-calc final. Then I hear the moan of the century. I swear to God, John, it was like straight outta brazzers.”

 

John giggled at that. He couldn’t take Dave seriously, not with this narration.

 

“John, listen, it was like pornhub meets redtube shit, I fuckin’ swear. So, I’m all like ‘holy shit someone’s doin’ the nasty? In _my_ school hallway?’ and I just sneak over there, like some Secret Service level sneaking. And, I swear to god, I see Rose pinning Kanaya on the wall, lips on lips, crotch on crotch action. I thought I walked into a playboy studio.” John’s brows shot up to his hairline.

“They were _grinding_?!” His voice shot up an octave. Rose? Rose ‘I’m too good for anyone’ Lalonde? He couldn’t believe what he heard.

“I swear to you on my _life_. I was jus’ as shocked as you. I mean, my cousin? With another person? Let alone Kanaya fuckin’ Maryam?” Dave shook his head, as if he didn’t believe it either. John brought a hand to his head in shock. “Shit dude. What did you do?” He asked.

 

Exactly what Dave did, John couldn’t find out since Dirk was already knocking on the window to let him in. Although, he didn’t mind the interruption. He was surprised he lasted this long without food and didn’t complain.

He unlocked the back door and Dirk sat back down. He passed the food around, and, after persuading him to keep the change, John gave him back his wallet.

They ate in comfortable silence. Dave kept pulling out his phone to take quick videos of John eating, which he captioned as ‘cannibalism’ and ‘john vore simulator’ on Snapchat.

“I’m so sending this to Terezi. She’s gonna lose her shit.” He joked. John groaned between mouthfuls. Dirk got sent a few of the videos as well, which made him chuckle quietly. He looked up at John with some kind of expression John couldn’t read.

“Oh, hey, I don’t have your Snapchat.”

 

John has never pulled out his phone faster in his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i don't know how to format in a way that isn't weird sorry yall :/
> 
> anyways the upload schedule will be two days where I post two chapters and two days where I write the next ones so I hope thats ok :] also for length of the fic itself im pretty sure it'll be at most 15-19 chapters so sorry in advance
> 
> as always my Tumblr is apollostwink.tumblr.com if anyone wants to ask anything abt the fic or say hi !


	4. All the Windows Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit 28/5/2018: missed a line of dialogue thanks again to silverbear who pointed it out!!!

John plopped face-first onto the twin-sized mattress. He was dead-tired. Driving almost three hours without a break was _hard_. Especially since he didn’t have coffee.

Ugh he should’ve got some at McDonalds.

John crawled onto the bed and brought his knees to his chest. Dave plopped next to him, barely making the mattress sink. “Someone’s tired.” He noted, stretching his arms. John looked at him over his shoulder and snorted. “Do you guys wanna go anywhere? There’s still some hours left. W-We can…” He cut himself short with a loud yawn.

“Nah dude, I’m beat.” Dave replied. John silently thanked whatever deity was listening. “Dirk! Do you wanna go anywhere?” Dave hollered.

Dirk, upon arriving, had gotten into the shower and stayed there for at least 10 minutes already. Something told John that he was going to be in there far more time.

Dave sighed deeply and mumbled something under his breath. John could only pick up “shit whatever, screw him” among other colorful insults.

He laughed as he lay on his back to stare at the ceiling.

 

“Hey, you never answered my question.” Dave chimed in, standing up and walking towards the couch. It was on the opposite wall as the bed, so he could get a good look at John.

The black-haired boy rose a brow and sat up. “What question?”

John knew exactly what Dave was talking about. And yes, he was avoiding the question ever since Dave saw the spectacular disaster that was him picking up Dirk. John didn’t know _why_ Dirk had such a magnetic effect on him. Other than a banging bod and a great face, and a smooth voice with its country twang, and the color of his eyes… A dopey grin made its way to John’s lips.

 

_He’s so not into you._

Yeah, that might be true. He doesn’t pretend that he’s some sort of hottie actor. But having Dirk as eye candy was just as good.

 

His entire face went red and his smile dropped. Shit, that sounded super creepy. That’s the _opposite_ of what he was trying to be.

“Holy shit, it’s like watching a fast forward on human emotions on crack.” Dave laughed, helping snap John back into reality.

John looked away, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Whatever.” He mumbled. Dave just chuckled. “Aight, not up for it right now. But don’t think you’re off the hook.” John rolled his eyes. 

“Hey, you never finished telling me about Kan and Rose.” John silently thanked his brain for being quick. Dave still wasn’t convinced but was eager to share the rest of the story. “I mean, what haven’t I told you yet?” He asked. “Last thing you said was that they were… um…” John cleared his throat awkwardly. Dave got the message and laughed.

“Yeah, alright. That’s about it.” He leaned back on the couch and crossed his arms. John looked at him with disbelief. “No way! They didn’t catch you?” He asked, awestruck. Dave shrugged. “Nah, I bolted outta there like some weeb kid after hearing ‘anime giveaway’. No way in _hell_ was I stayin’. For what? For Rose to see me and bite my head off. Plus, that Kanaya girl had heels, John. _Heels_! You could’ve lost a bro out there.” Dave told this as if he had seen war and famine. Which made the entire thing hilarious to John.

He folded his legs on top of the mattress, leaning forward. “Did you ever, like, tell her about it?” He asked. Dave snorted and nodded. “Why else did she leave as if someone gave her a sour candy the other day? But she doesn’t know I was watchin’.” He put his sunglasses on the top of his head, giving John an intense stare. “So this stays ‘tween us. Aight?” John waved his hand dismissively and giggled. “Yeah, Dave. I’m telling _everyone_ about how Rose and Kan did the dirty.” He said sarcastically. Dave laughed and put his sunglasses back on.

 

The water shut off after a few seconds of silence. Dave sighed with relief. “Finally!” He exclaimed, rushing over to his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. Dirk left the bathroom with a towel over his shoulders and shorts. Steam came out of the bathroom. His hair was stuck to his forehead, save for some strands still sticking out. His skin was glistening. 

_Duh John, he just showered._

Yeah, but that didn’t mean that John wasn’t going insane over how good Dirk looked. I mean, who the fuck looks that good right after showering?! How the hell was Dirk Strider so fucking attractive?! There has to be laws against this, right? No way should a person look  _so_ good.

Dave scurried past Dirk with his bag in his hands. But before he could close the door, he stopped. He turned over to look at John and wiggled his brows. John opened his mouth to protest, but Dave slammed the door shut.

It was just him and Dirk. Alone. In a hotel room. Until Dave got out of the shower.

 

John’s throat made a noise, which he _prayed_ that Dirk didn’t hear. By the looks of it, Dirk either ignored it, or didn’t hear it, which John was thankful for. The blonde plopped his bag near the closet where the safe was and walked towards the sliding glass window.

“’s hot as balls in here.” He murmured, sliding the door open. John was going to suggest turning on the air conditioner but decided not to after Dirk sat on the twin mattress next to his.  The blonde laid back into the pillows as he pushed back his wet hair. John _knows_ he shouldn’t have found that attractive, but somehow it was.

Dirk was a sight to look at. Even more now that he stretched. The way his muscles tensed as his arms went towards the headboard of the bed, shit, even his yawn was hot. 

John’s face turned red. This crush was getting out of hand.

He blushed even more at the thought of calling whatever _this_ was a crush. He wasn’t 12 anymore! Crushes are for little kids, and John _wasn’t_ a kid anymore. And he was sure he wasn’t gay either.

But damn, Dirk made his breath catch in his throat. John didn’t want to face his emotions, not in front of Dirk anyways. But he knew he had to at some point in time.

 

Orange eyes met blue. It was electric.

Dirk’s eyes were hooded, bags under them, long blonde lashes too. Wow. It made John’s stomach twist. He couldn’t imagine how they looked like up close. Maybe they had tiny speckles of brown in them, or—

_Hold on._

That’s when John realized that he’d been caught staring.

“Did you start a starin’ contest without me knowin’?” Dirk quipped, a side-grin on his face. John sputtered for an answer. His cheeks got redder by the second. John looked at his fingers and grasped the bedsheet tightly. “S-Sorry.” He mumbled. Dirk laughed in response, something John didn’t quite expect. “Nah, ‘s fine. Kinda spaced out while lookin’ at you, too. So, we’re even.” Dirk confessed, now sitting up straight. “You just remind me of someone.” 

John looked up. He _did_ get that him and Jane looked almost like twins. Maybe it was her who Dirk was thinking about?

“Oh. Who?” He rose a brow. Dirk shrugged in response. “Someone I used to know. Looks a shit ton like you, though. He wears glasses ‘n has a mega overbite too,” Just as John opened his mouth for a comeback, Dirk shot him a look. His brows were raised, and a sly smile was on his lips. It shut him up.

“No offense.” He finished. John didn’t even know why he was going to protest in the first place. But still, he rolled his eyes.

 

Then the water shut off again.

“John! Be a bro and help me out?” Dave’s muffled voice hollered from inside the bathroom. John turned towards the door and stood up. He pressed his side into it. “Yeah? What’s wrong?” He asked. 

“Help me put on my binder?”

John took a step back, away from the door.

It's not like he’s never  _seen_ Dave without his binder before. He has, and it was with Dave's full consent. But it still felt like he was crossing a line. He should know, he’s been in that position before. He never liked showing his bare chest before his surgery to other people. Not the doctor, not Jane, not even his ex-girlfriend. He felt out of place and wrong whenever he did. Even if the person supported him or didn't see a problem. Not saying that Dave felt like that as well, but John didn’t want to potentially damage his friendship.

“John?”

Dirk seemed to hear Dave’s request. He quickly stood up and took John’s place on the door. “Stay there, I’ll help.” John sat back down on the bed, turning away from the bathroom. “ _Hell_ no. I said John.” Dave’s whine filled the room as Dirk went inside. He shut the door before John heard anything else.

 

* * *

 

Dave squirmed out of the bathroom door, a towel resting on his hips and his hair wet and sticking in all directions. His binder was on, which meant John could finally turn around. Dirk followed, a bruise in his shoulder. Looks like Dave punched him hard. Dirk closed the bathroom door and leaned his back against it, rubbing his shoulder.

“Fuckin’…” Dave grabbed his bag and grabbed red and black boxers to slide into.

Dirk and John looked away as Dave changed.

“Aight, y’all can turn around now.” So, John did. 

“You know. Speakin’ of turnin’,” Dirk sat next to John. The proximity made John light-headed. Especially with the heat radiating off Dirk. “Where are we even goin’?” He turned to face John, who practically leapt off the bed and towards his backpack. “Oh, glad you asked!” His voice was too high for it to be normal.

Dave sniggered, earning himself a nudge on the shoulder from John when he stood up with a map in his hands.

He laid out the paper on the bed where he was sitting before. It was a map of The States, including Alaska and Hawaii. Houston was marked with a sticker of a happy face and had a blue line going all the way to “Washington?” Dirk asked with surprise.Dave gasped. “State?” He asked. John snorted. “No, DC.” Dirk countered, but it had no bite to it.

Dave rolled his eyes as he looked for his aviators. “Why Washington?” He asked, squatting under the desk in front of the beds. “That’s where we’re gonna stay for a week.” John explained. Dirk’s brows rose. “Huh. Any particular reason?” He asked. “Yeah, my cousin lives there, and she invited me to stay. That’s why I invited Dave over. And, I guess she’ll have to sleep on the couch since you’re coming too.” John now looked at Dirk. “Nice going. See what you did? Now John’s cousin’s gonna sleep uncomfortably.” Dave said, mockingly towards Dirk. The elder Strider shook his head and, John guessed, rolled his eyes. John giggled. “Nah, if anything I’ll sleep on the couch. You two’ll be fine.” He started folding the map again. Dave finally found his aviators and put them on.

“Well. It was lovely stayin', but I’m headin’ out.” Dave said smugly, looking through his bag. Dirk rose a brow.

“And where are _you_ goin’?” He asked.

Dave pulled out a long-sleeve shirt and cargo shorts from his bag.

“Out.”

He threw on the shirt. John bit his lip worriedly. Dave’s head popped out of the hole.

He looked at John. “Ah, don’t worry. It’s for a bit. Promise.” Dirk’s lips drew into a light line. He wasn’t convinced.

John, on the other hand, was more worried about what Dave was going to do. “Oh, alright. Be safe.” He pleaded.

Dave nodded as he slid on the shorts. “I will.” He replied, genuinely. He grabbed flip flops from his bag and plopped them on the floor to put them on.

Afterwards he left, and it was complete silence after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something I wanna mention: English isn't my first language so please excuse any grammar mistakes and such!!
> 
> sorry that these few chapters have been mainly filler ! the story will pick up in the next one I promise
> 
> my Tumblr is apollostwink if you have any questions or wanna say hi
> 
> also id like to thank everyone who's sent me messages that theyre enjoying the fic!! it really means a lot that you guys like it and I would die for y'all <3


	5. Tongue Tied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for drug use/mention and vomit !
> 
> kinda long chapter  
> none of the titles I use make sense w what the chapters about I just think they’re neat
> 
> edit: typo which literally made me laugh for 5 minutes straight thank you Steve for pointing it out :'y

* * *

John wasn’t aware that he fell asleep until he woke up.

 

His mouth tasted horrible and his glasses were askew on his face. He didn’t even need to look in the mirror to know that his hair was probably sticking out in every possible direction. John sat up and stretched his back, trying to keep quiet. Dirk was asleep, or at least John thought he was, he couldn’t tell with his sunglasses still on. (Who even does that?!). He shook his head and looked over his shoulder. Huh, Dave wasn’t back yet. Whatever, it might be early in the night. I mean, he fell asleep at 5pm…

John grabbed his phone from the nightstand between the two beds to check the hour. He had to hold back the loudest gasp. _3:19 am?!_ Where the hell was Dave at 3am?! He should’ve been back by now! John stood up quickly, pulling up Dave’s contact.

 

Me [3:19 am]:

where the heck are you?! it’s 3am please come back, im worried.

 

A vibration noise came from the desk. John groaned. No fucking way did Dave leave his phone. He never goes out without it. 

_Unless…_

John quickly turned towards the bathroom. Dave’s sandals were thrown about near the front door. So, maybe he was here?

 

He could deal with it later, right now he has to brush his teeth, he’s not sure if he can handle the taste anymore.

With all the grace he could muster, John tip-toed towards the bathroom door and turned the handle. Quietly, to not disturb Dirk. He closed it once he was inside and turned on the lights.

 

First thing he noticed: it smelled _disgusting_ in here.

Second thing: _Holy shit is that an arm dangling off the bathtub_.

 

John nearly shrieked. Whose arm was that?! How did it get there?! He edged closer to it, slow and steady. The arm swung back inside the tub, followed by a ghastly moan. John realized what was going on. That was Dave’s arm. He peeked over the tub and, sure enough, there he was in all his glory. Curled up in a ball, holding his stomach and drool spilling out of his mouth. His aviators were slipping off. Truly a blackout couture look. John sighed with relief, it could’ve been a _lot_ worse. 

“Dave?” He put his hand on Dave’s shoulder, swaying him softly to wake him up.

“Mh… uh… John?”

“Oh, thank god.” Ok. He was alive. John could breathe easy now. He pushed back his hair and sighed.

Dave rolled over on his back and smiled. His face was pale, John realized now that he was closer. Beads of sweat were clinging above his brow, too. What was wrong with him? “H-Hey, where’d you come from? You scared the shit outta me. God, John. D-Don’t you care about my shit?” What the actual fuck. John’s face twisted with disgust. “Ew. Dave, gross. What happened to you?” He asked worriedly. Dave offered a weak shrug in response. John sat on the toilet lid, sighing deeply. Ok, this is fine. It’s just your friend who has blacked out inside the tub because of god-knows-what. Toooootally normal.

Dave tried sitting up. He hissed as he stretched his back. John eyed his figure carefully.

“I wouldn’t open that if I were you. Nasty shit.” He slurred, hunching over and rubbing his shoulder. John rose a brow and stood up. He opened the lid and was greeted with the nastiest odor he’s ever had the displeasure of smelling. It matched perfectly with the vomit inside.

What the hell was wrong with him? Dave’s never one to have a weak stomach. He doesn’t even eat… John looked at him out of the corner of his eye. That explains the paleness and sweat. But why did he puke in the first place?

John slammed the lid shut. Dave stuck out his tongue in disgust. “I told you, bro! Don’t open that shit.” He shook his head. John knelt in front of the tub. His brows drawn together with worry. “Wh—” He was cut short by another hiss from Dave. This time because he tried turning back around.

“Wait, is your binder still on?” Dave pulled his collar and peeked inside it. He snorted and nodded. “Yeeeeeuuup.” Ok time to panic again. “Dave, you need to take that off. It’s not good for you to sleep in it.”

Dave’s brows drew together. “Lemme sleep jus’ a few more minutes?” He asked, honest-to-god pouting. How old was he? Seven? Still, it was kinda endearing. John chuckled and shook his head. “No can do, you’ll hurt yourself if you keep wearing it.” Dave groaned, much like a little kid being denied his ice cream. “Fine.” He pulled his shirt over his head, tangling up with the sleeves. John chuckled and helped out.

He’s seen Dave shirtless before. But it phased him. He had funny tan-lines and freckles all over his shoulders and stomach. Scars cling onto his arms. Some bigger and deeper, others were faded, healing slowly. John had asked before. Dave put up a wall almost always. Or had shitty excuses like swords falling out of the fridge (totally normal), falling off his bed, getting too rough when fighting with his oldest brother. He always said it built character. (“That’s what Bro says, and the man’s almost a god.”) but John didn’t think alike. Of course, he wasn’t going to press the subject further if Dave wasn’t going to give him answers.

 

Ok, now time to unhook his binder.

 

“Turn around for me, please?” John asked. Dave complied and faced the wall that was behind him. John sighed deeply. It’s just the back. Just the back. He repeated his mantra as he unhooked it quickly. Dave started to turn back around. “Y-You do the rest.” He stood up and looked away. He saw the shower curtain out of the corner of his eye and closed it.

 

John walked to the sink where he grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste tube. He really was disappointed with Dave, but as long as he doesn’t get himself killed John’s alright. But really, after millions of Drugs Are Bad™️ assemblies you’d think he’d at least try to stay away. But John can’t blame him, or the others who blew them off. Speaking of, Dave fought with the curtain as he wobbled out of the tub. He nearly fell face-first to the carpet in front of the tub. John had to suppress a giggle.

 

”You ok?” He mumbled through a mouthful of toothpaste. Dave sat, legs folded, on the floor. He looked down at his lap. “Are you mad at me? ‘m s-sorry. I really am.” He asked in a tiny voice. John spat out the toothpaste. He nearly burst into tears. Of course he was mad! But he couldn’t muster to say it to Dave. He looked like a little kid who’s just received the scolding of his life. Plus, it’s not John’s place to be scolding him. So he knelt in front of him and patted his head comfortingly. “I’m not mad, Dave. I’m just worried about you.” He replied, eyes soft and a smile on his face.

Dave sighed deeply, shoulders trembling. Was he crying? John’s brows furrowed with worry. “Are tellin’ B-Bro?” Dave hiccuped, not looking up. John had to, he didn’t know who else to tell. Dave’s parents had died before he’d moved to Texas, so the eldest Strider was the only adult in the house. 

But something about Dave hiccuping, shaking, crying. John didn’t have the heart to tell Dirk or Bro. Something wasn’t right... John couldn’t put his finger on it. 

“I’m not going to tell him.” Dave’s head shot up. Snot, tears and red cheeks. John swallowed hard. What would’ve happened if he said he would tell him? Would Dave run? Would he cry more? John sighed deeply and stood up again, offering Dave his hand to pull him up. 

Now’s not the time to think about it.

 

* * *

 

John woke up to the smell of smoke. He nearly fell off the bed, panic surging through his veins. He blindly reached for his glasses and put them on. They had to leave, _now_. Looking over his shoulder, he found a peaceful Dave, completely unaware of what was happening. “Dave. Dave, wake up!” He shook his blonde friend. Dave woke up with a start, sitting up in a flash. “Jesus, what is it?” He asked, trying to keep his voice steady. Looks like he sat up too fast. If him massaging his temples and shutting his eyes tightly was anything to go by. “Fuck... my head...” He groaned and started to lay down again. “Get up! Th-There’s smoke—“ “Oh, that’s jus’ Dirk.” John stopped his panicking. 

Just as Dave said, John turned to look at the bed opposite and found it empty. His eyes roamed to the balcony and there was Dirk.

God, he looked like a painting. 

He was shirtless, a cigarette(?) placed between his fingers. He blew smoke out of his mouth, elbows on the bars, knees bent and head resting on his free hand. 

John turned to Dave, who was laid on his back with eyes open. He had a smug look, one that John wasn’t ready to deal with this early. “Dirk smokes?” He asked. No shit, John. You just saw him. “I mean, yeah. But not like cigs and shit. He hates nicotine, _hates_ it. But weed? Yeah. He does.” Thanks for the over-explanation, Dave. John mentally quipped. He was too dazed by how dreamy Dirk looked in the early morning sun. An honest to god model. John’s face became hot.

 

Speak of the devil.

 

Dirk’s head peeked into the room. “Hey, mornin’ squirt.” He looked at Dave, who flipped him off. Then he stared at John. “Oh, Dave told me you’re like sensitive to smells ‘n shit. You want me to put this out?” His full body now under the doorframe. He’d put the cigarette (John couldn’t name the weed version of it) behind his back. 

While true, John was cursed with a sensitive nose and severe allergies, he didn’t want to look like a pussy. “U-Um, yeah. I-I mean, I can manage. Up to you, though...” He bumbled.

That’s one of the ways that he could look stupid.

Dirk chuckled. “I’ll close the door so you don’t get all Mikey Walsh on us.”

If John was maybe crushing on Dirk, keyword: maybe, he had a full-blown crush by now. He could see through the weird wallet and puppet thing, but quoting an iconic movie? John was weak on the knees. 

Dirk closed the sliding door and went back to smoking. Dave finally stood up, slowly and surely. John was trying to breathe normally, because something so dumb shouldn’t have made his breath hitch. 

_Yet it did._

John ignored that comment. No fucking way. Dirk was attractive but John liked girls! Women. Not men. He can appreciate handsome men like Chris Pine, Chadwick Boseman, Jason Momoa, Dirk Strider— he shook that train of thought away real quick. Nothing to do with what’s happening right now, anyways.

“Earth to Egbert. John I’m losin’ you, come back.” Dave’s voice was muffled by a pillow. He jabbed the back of John’s head with his finger. John turned back to face him, eyes narrowed. “You’re way too cheery to have a hangover.” Dave shrugged in response. “What can I say? Hangovers are easy to get rid of.” He pushed back his hair, which was as messy as it could get. John rolled his eyes. “Oh please, last night you were tripping on air.” Dave’s face dropped. “L-Last night?” John regretted saying that. But what else is new? “Oh... I mean, do you wanna talk about it?” He asked, dancing around the subject to not cause a fight.

Dave looked away, his pupils shifting slowly towards the mattress. John sighed. “Guess not. Do you want breakfast?” Dave looked up at him. He opened his mouth, but quickly closed it. John darted over to his side. “Shit, what’s wrong? D-Do you need anything?” He asked, trying to balance Dave on his side. Dave made a movement with his hand, it went from his stomach and spread his fingers out as he pointed to the bathroom door. “Y-You need to go?” He asked. Dave nodded. Both boys raced into the bathroom, John opened the lid and Dave kneeled to relieve himself.

The sound was disgusting, John couldn’t stomach it. He tried patting Dave’s back as furthest as he could manage. Dave kept going at it. “Shit Dave, I’m gonna get Dirk...” John finally said after a few more rounds. Dave breathed deeply and shook his head. “No. N-No ‘s fine. I’m fine.” He wiped his forehead, which was drenched in sweat.

John sighed. Dave shakily stood up and went for the sink. He picked up his toothbrush. “Dave you need to eat.” John blurted out. Dave shook his head. “Nah man, ‘m fine. Plus, eatin’ll make it worse. Trust me John. ‘m ok.” John shook his head. Dave was going to eat one way or another. Even if John had to force feed him. “I’m getting you _something_ at least. Cereal, Dave. At least eat half of a cereal bowl.” John pleaded. Dave looked at him, mouth foaming with toothpaste. “Mh, fine.” Dave caved in. Finally.

 

Dirk was already inside the room once John got out. Dave had taken the liberty to shower before eating breakfast. “Hey. Sorry ‘bout the smoke earlier. Wasn’t my intention to make y’all panic.” His voice, smooth and sweet like honey, sent tingles up John’s spine. Damn, he can’t even remember why he panicked in the first place. 

“It’s fine. Don’t worry.” He mumbled with a side-grin. Dirk nodded. “Where’s Dave?” John jerked his head towards the bathroom. “Showering.” He plopped on his bed and grabbed the telefone. Good thing that they had the extension numbers as stickers. It made the job way easier. “Oh! What do you want for breakfast, Dirk?” He asked. 

The elder Strider stayed quiet. He reached for his sunglasses, which John had taken a slight appreciation towards, and laid on his back. “...Toast and bacon.” He replied bluntly. John nodded. He dialed the room service extension to place his order.

 

”Hello, room service, how may we help you?” 

“Good morning. Um, I’m in room...”

John looked over at Dirk, who seemed to understand why. He held back a chuckle as he held up five fingers on one hand and two on the other. 

“Room Twenty five.”

Dirk didn’t bother holding back. He straight-up snorted. “Fifty two!” He whispered through chuckles. John’s cheeks colored.

”Ah, sorry! Room Fifty two! Fifty two... yes, yes. Um, I’d like a bowl of cereal— oh, um... raisin brand? Yeah, okay... no that’s, ok. Also, pancakes... maple syrup please. And a medium...?” John glanced over at Dirk to get his approval. Dirk shrugged and gave him a thumbs up.

“Yeah, medium plate of toast and bacon... eggs?” 

Dirk nodded.

”With eggs. Um... anything to drink...?”

Dirk mimed picking something off a tree, eating it and then... wrapped his arm around his neck like a snake?

”Oh! Apple! Apple juice!” John nearly shouted through the phone. Dirk chuckled and nodded, shoulders bouncing as he did so. He then stopped quickly to make a peace sign...? Oh!

”Two, two apple juice... cartons... bottles... please.” John nearly forgot he was on the phone. Dirk shook his head, laughing as he did.

John had to hold his hand against the speaker to let out his share of giggling. He didn’t think charades would be part of the trip. After letting out his guffaws, he put his er back on the telephone. “Sorry, yes, that will be all. Thank you! And sorry about the room confusion!” He hung up.

John loved laughter, wether it was his own or making other people laugh. But Dirk’s laugh was something else. It was quiet, then he would lose control and let it out. Like almost a roar. He had to contain himself from staring.

”Good game.” Dirk said, his laughter fading as he spoke. 

Something was certain though, John preferred his voice over his laughter.

”Y-Yeah. I’ve never played charades like that.” John replied, looking at the phone to not stare at Dirk.

”Hm.” Dirk stayed quiet for a second. John was about to stand up to check on Dave, until he spoke again. “We should play more often, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!no chapter update tomorrow!!  
>  hopefully if I do update it’ll be late at night but it’s not very probable that I’ll update tomorrow during the day so sorry everyone
> 
> this was written mostly on my phone since I didn’t have a computer with me today so sorry about the formatting and such !
> 
> as always thanks for reading and leaving kudos it really means so much to me to know that there’s ppl that enjoy this messy asf fic ! thanks so much everyone for your support and kind comments :]


	6. Set My Clocks Early

Dirk stepped into the shower after Dave came out. He kept looking at Dirk strangely as he passed him. John had the dopiest buck-toothed grin on his face.

“Did you two _cross swords_ when I was showerin’?” He nearly shouted when he plopped down next to John. The black-haired boy nearly fell off the bed, his face burning hotter than the sun outside. “Wh-What the fuck, Dave. No!” Dave rose a brow. “Then why’re y’all so smiley? Dirk doesn’t smile unless ‘s for some puppet shit or somethin’. What’d you do to him?” John wasn’t going to deal with his. Not now. Definitely not now. Later though.

“C’mon John. You can’t keep secrets forever.” Dave leaned in, trying to coax out something, _anything,_ from John.

Though, there wasn’t much to say. They didn’t really do anything except that weird game of charades. But that’s not what Dave wanted to hear.

He wanted a secret.

“What about you? Are you going to tell me what happened last night?” John blurted automatically.

Dave’s face paled. He leaned back with his lips in a tight line. John was about to apologize but he stood up to look through his bag. “I don’t know what you mean.” He mumbled. John turned to look at him. Whatever he was looking for it was very deep inside his bag.

“Look. I get if you don’t want to tell me. I-I’m just worried about you. I want to help.”

Dave stood up and shrugged. He pulled out a jacket from his bag and slipped it on. John looked down at the carpeted floor. Fine. Dave was going to tell him, one way or another. He’s his best friend. But if Dave didn’t feel like talking about it yet, John won’t keep pushing for answers.

“If you’re wonderin’ bout it, _no,_ I didn’t do anythin’ illegal.” Dave’s voice was muffled with the fabric on top of him. John looked up at him, his head popping out of the hole of the shirt. “Well _that’s_ a relief.” John quipped, grabbing Dave’s shades from the nightstand and tossing them to him. Dave managed to catch them with one hand and chuckled. “But seriously, though. You ok?” John asked worriedly. Dave sighed deeply and put his shades on after pulling the jacket on completely. “Yeah. ‘m fine, John. Don’t worry.”

That really didn’t made John feel less uneasy, but he’ll take it.

 

“Hey, how long’s it gonna take for us to get to Washington?”

John put his back on the mattress and sighed. “About three or four more days.” He mumbled. “What about graduation?” John turned onto his stomach to look at Dave. “What do you mean?” Dave sat on the mattress in front of John. “Like, isn’t graduation soon? ‘n prom and shit?” He asked.

Well that’s a first, Dave Strider caring about school activities? Wow, pigs are flying.

“Oh, well, I’m not sure. I checked the school calendar they have in the website and it said that prom and graduation were pushed back.” Dave’s brows raised. “Pushed back? Why?” John shrugged. “I think it’s cause a lot of people didn’t come to take their finals. That’s what I heard from Jade anyways.” John replied. Dave gasped loudly. “Holy shit. Really?”

Yet more proof that Dave was spaced out as fuck during finals week. In their Biology final there were only 7 students present, out of a class of almost 19. Anxiety was a hell of a drug.

“Are you goin’ to prom?” Dave asked, looking at the sheets he was sitting on. John rose a brow. “Of course. It’s like… the end. It’s the last time we’re gonna party as kids.” He said blissfully, a huge smile on his face. “What about you?” Dave shrugged again. John nearly tackled him because _no way_ is Dave not going to prom. He had to, it his last hoopla as a teen! Plus, he’s his best friend since 6thgrade, how could he not go?

“I don’t have a date ‘n I think prom’s dumb. I can get alcohol with a fake and it’ll be even better. It’s  _free._ ” He plopped backwards to punctuate the sentence. John snorted and plopped a pillow on his face. “You don’t need a date to go, dumbass.” Dave laughed from under the pillow. “So, you’ll be my date?” The blonde boy pushed off the pillow, a wide smirk on his lips. John scoffed jokingly. “Fine, we’ll go together. As friends though!” Dave snorted. “Dude, we should wear the sneakers. Like, the light-up ones we got.”

John laughed at the thought of them arriving to the gymnasium, dressed to the nines in tuxedoes, their hair combed back as if they were in the Great Gatsby, then their blue and red light up sketchers to seal the deal.

Dave joined in too, he held his stomach as he laughed.

“God, no wonder nobody asked me to prom.” John said, pushing back his hair and laying on his side. Dave snorted and punched him softly on the shoulder. “Aw, don’t say that. You got me, and Rose, and Jade.” He gave him a small smile, which made John feel better. “Hey, did anyone ask you? I completely ignored that.” Dave snorted. “Yeah, but I said no.”

John nearly choked. He couldn’t believe his ears, but he wasn’t surprised. Dave _was_ attractive, technically speaking. But he’s never thought of Dave as a playboy.

“Oh my god! Who? Was it like a full-blown promposal? Why’d you say no, oh my god, Dave!” The blonde laughed and sat up. “Didn’t I tell you? It was at the end of our calculus final.” John’s eyes were the size of plates. “No! You didn’t! How could you?!” Dave scooted back, laughing and shaking his head. “Ok, stay still. I’ll tell you.” John sat up and folded his legs. He’s never been more intrigued about something as much as this moment. He wasn’t sure if he could handle it.

“Aight. I finished my exam, right?” That’s when John knew it was going to be good. Whenever Dave started with ‘aight’ it meant business. He nodded. “I asked if I could go out since my legs were hurtin’ from sittin’ still too long. So, the teacher was like ‘sure bro just don’t leave the school’ and I was like, aww hell yeah gonna get some snacks or somethin’. So, I left to the vending machine near the art classroom. I was in the middle of listenin’ to some phat beats,” John rolled his eyes and scoffed, earning a chuckle from Dave. “Don’t lie you know they’re dope.” The bespectacled boy shook his head and waved his hand dismissively. “Fine, fine. Keep going!” Dave shrugged and put up his hands in mock surrender. “Not until you admit my beats are dope as fuck.” John groaned loudly. “Ugh! Fine, your beats are dope as fuck, trademark.” He repeated, itching to get more details.

Dave laughed. “That’s what I thought. Anyways. I bumped into someone in the hall and I was like about to say sorry then I see good ol' red and blue, Mr. bee-fucker McGee.” John gasped so loudly he nearly choked. “ _Sollux_?! Sollux _Captor_?! A-Asked _you_ to the prom?!” His voice went up so high that Dave cringed. “Jeez, yes. Now shut up or Dirk won’t let me hear the end of it!” Dave’s face turned red. Mostly from embarrassment. Still didn’t stop John from giggling. “What’d he say?” Dave pushed back his hair and let out a sigh. “I don’t know. He has that weird lisp situation goin’ on in his mouth whenever he talks. I just stayed there while windex over there sprayed his ‘Ode to the Strider’ on full volume.” John burst into a fit of giggles.His shoulders bounced as he laughed. Dave looked satisfied.

“Holy shit, what—pfft—what did you do?” John asked through heaves of laughter. “I was all like, ‘listen, you’re my bro and we’ve gone to exactly two concerts together and one whole party, but I don’t like you like that. You know? Like, more than a bro. You’re dope as fuck and you got sick as fuck hacking skills but you’re my bro, and bros don’t date bros. Sorry.’ then I patted his shoulder and left.” Dave finished and crossed his arms. John gave him a questionable look. “How’d he take it?” Dave snorted. “I don’t know, I left before he could keep goin’.” The black-haired boy snorted. Unbelievable. Dave turned down a date to the prom, and for what? He shook his head and chuckled.

“How ‘bout you? Were you plannin’ on askin’ someone to prom?” John looked at Dave with a raised brow and a smug grin. “Yeah  _totally_.” He replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Nah dude, seriously. You weren’t gonna ask anyone?” John shook his head. “No. I was planning on going in a group. Like, you, Rose, Jade and me. But I guess Rose wants to go with Kanaya now…” He smiled suddenly and looked up. “At least we still got Jade!” Dave rose a brow. “Wait, don’t you know? Jade’s goin’ with some kid. She asked them to prom a while ago.”

John’s smile dropped, his jaw fell slack. Jade? Jade his cousin? Had a date to prom? And he didn’t? What kind of treason is this.

“Jade has a _what_?” Dave had to hold back a snort. “She has a date. Some kid with a weird name and orange hair. They’re from another school.”

John couldn’t believe his ears. After all this time he thought Jade wasn’t interested in dating or anything like that, she actually scored a date. Wow.

“Wait, they’re from another school? Are they a boy or a girl?” John asked, raising a brow. Dave shrugged. “I dunno. Neither? ‘s what Jade told me.” John stayed pensive.

Well, there goes his idea of the ultimate squad at prom. Bummer. At least he has Dave, he’ll make it fun. Still, he wanted to spend prom with his closest friends. It’s what always happens whenever the main character of a movie doesn’t have a date, he goes with his squad! But whatever, beggars can’t be choosers. 

 

“But for real, you weren’t plannin’ on askin’ anyone? Like other than Rose and Jade?” Dave asked. John bit his lip and shrugged.

There wasn’t anyone at school he particularly liked. I mean, there _were_ attractive girls in his school obviously, but he doesn’t talk to any of them. Just minute long conversations or the usual ‘can I borrow a pencil?’. It would be awkward to ask.

“I mean if I _had_ to choose… I would’ve asked Terezi.” John replied. A smug smile on his lips. Dave choked. “No fuckin’ way. You wouldn’t’ve! She’s my ex bro! That’s against the law of friendship!” Dave shoved him as cackles flew out of his mouth. “I-I’m kidding! I—ha!—wouldn’t do that to you.” John replied, holding a pillow between him and Dave so no damage would be done. Dave’s brows furrowed. But his lips curved upwards. “That’s like me askin’ Vriska to prom.” He countered.

A pillow flew towards him. Dave dodged it swiftfully. “Oh my god! No! I would literally not talk to you ever if you did that!” John exclaimed between giggles. Dave got off the bed and laughed. “Exactly. No askin’ out our exes.” He declared, hands on his hips. John rolled his eyes. “Wouldn’t make sense, anyways. We’re goin’ together.” John bristled. “As friends.” He added. Dave snorted. “Hell yeah. Bros before hoes.” John smirked. He stood up as well, facing Dave.

“Junk before trunk.”

“Bert and Ernie before squirtin’ spermy.”

”John Madden before—“ ”Jasmine from Aladdin.”

“What the fuck.” 

John nearly jumped as he heard Dirk’s voice. He was standing under the doorframe with a smile tugging at his lips. Shit. How much had he heard?

Dave laughed. “Jesus, you scared the shit outta us.” Dirk rolled his eyes. John wasn’t sure if he was ever going to get used to Dirk being shirtless. But he sure as hell wasn’t complaining. 

 

“What was _that_ about?” He asked, now squatting to get his bag.

John could see that his towel was slipping, just enough to see his hip bone and the dimples of his lower back. 

“Top Secret Bro stuff, Dirk. You have to be level 100 bro to unlock it.” Dave replied.

Dirk rolled his eyes. “Dave I’m your brother.” He said bluntly. “And you think that makes you a bro?” Dave countered with a smug grin.

John chuckled as his face heated up. He couldn’t hear anything else other than his heart pumping harshly against his chest. What’s going on? Why did this happen to him? Is God punishing him? Why was Dirk so fucking hot? This is both heaven and hell. He couldn’t do anything but stare. And he hated it.

He was so caught up in his mental turmoil that he didn’t notice the room service employees coming in. But he did notice one of them staring at Dirk for a long time as she set the tray on the bed. That made a very unpleasantness bubbling feeling grow in the pit of his stomach. Along with a sharp anger that he wasn’t entitled to. 

“Thanks y’all. You two are like angels in a dry as fuck wasteland, you know that right? Like, shit, let me get on my knees and say thanks for this meal.” Dave’s comments made them laugh. John occupied himself by looking for his wallet to tip them, maybe that would help him ignore the fact that he was jealous.

Calling it jealousy made him cringe.

It’s not like Dirk belonged to him, why the _hell_ was he jealous?!

He liked Dirk. Fine, he admitted it.

That made him blush even more.

Shit. He _liked_ Dirk. Dirk was a guy, and so was he. 

Does that mean he’s gay?

_But I like girls..._

Fuck it. He’ll deal with it after he’s tipped the employees.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been 87 years....
> 
> I'm sorry for not updating in like three weeks life got in the way and I've been having problems w being productive in any way I don't know why but I havent been eating or sleeping well so I'm really really sorry to have kept you guys waiting!
> 
> this chapter's filler :'y the next two will pick up on the plot quickly
> 
> my writings getting worse by the chapter ha ha ha ha ha 
> 
> also id like to thank everyone for leaving comments on how much you like my messy pic which I am too insecure about and for pointing out spelling/autocorrect mistakes since my English is... bad and I type quickly so most fly over my head lol but really thank you all <3


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